Lily's Diary
by muppetmadness
Summary: This is set two years after Snape's pensive, in James and Lily's 7th year. Lily has a secret but what is it and what will happen if James finds out?
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:The Maraudersand Lily aren't mine, everything else is.**

Hi!

Here's my evaluation of today:

Lessons:

Charms - Mildly amusing, I got another O, Remus and I joked about it.

Double Potions - The Slug kept sucking up to me, I totally don't know why…I'm muggle born, and he invited me to another Slug party.

Transfiguration - Great fun, I almost got hit by Potter's spell when someone mentioned illegal animagi.

Defence Against the Dark Arts - Creepy, I hate seeing all the creatures and learning about what they can do to you…hexes and curses are way more fun.

People:

Severus Snape - I try to help but I can't help but feel his nickname is true. He _is_ a slimy git!

James Potter - He was sitting around ruffling his hair playing with that snitch. He's hot, but not hot enough that I'd date him when he is so arrogant. How did he get to be Head Boy!

Remus Lupin - Remus is so great but he hasn't been well recently because of the full moon but he's getting better.

Peter Pettigrew -Why is he a marauder…? He doesn't fit in with them at all!

Sirius Black - He was being his usual charming, flirty and fun – immature –but fun self.

Eva - Eva has got to be my best friend. She keeps teasing me about James. I don't like him no matter what she says.

Funniest moment of the day:

"Right, now students, I want you to turn this into a cup and _then_ make it invisible," said Professor McGonnagall.

We all got working and I was absent-mindedly casting charms on my apple whilst chatting with Eva when, "Can animagi change themselves so they are invisible?" I heard a voice pipe up from the corner of the room.

"Why would they want to?" McGonnagall asked.

"Well, if they were illegal animagi…" he replied.

James jumped a mile out of his seat and sent his transforming spell at me. I ducked and threw my apple into the spell's path. It instantly changed into a cup and landed on my desk.

"Thanks, but could you be _any _more obvious?" I smirked.

"She knows?" I heard a shocked James hiss at Remus.

"She worked out I was a werewolf and you were illegal animagi last year…with_out _my help," Remus calmly said back.

"It only took me a couple of missed patrols due to 'illness in the family' too. And I couldn't help but notice you kept disappearing on the same nights." I worded it carefully so he didn't think I liked him.

"Was there a hint of boasting there? You sounded smug about working it out so fast," Sirius teased.

"Well, it didn't take me 2 years to work out what one of my best friends turns into every month. I always knew what Eva turned into." They looked at each other confused and I smiled. "Girl thing."

"Ooo, she's good, I'll give her that. Next she'll be saying she's an animagus too," Sirius remarked.

"Well…since you already said so…" I trailed off at the look of shock on their faces.

"But…. but…you've only known for two years! How?"

"Well, she asked me how you did it so I told her," Remus replied for me, turning his cup invisible.

"Get back to work you five!" McGonnagall said.

They all turned back to their apples and I returned to mine, ignoring the questioning looks from Eva.

He he! The looks on their faces! I guess they never noticed the snowy owl flying above them during their adventures round the grounds. I have to admit, it was really hard to do. I practised non-stop from the time I found out. I only just managed it at the beginning of this term but now I can turn into a snowy owl. It's weird but very cool.

"Lily-flower, I wanted to remind you there is a Heads' meeting soon," a voice said behind me.

"Go away, Potter." I turn and see Eva smiling that wicked grin she has at me.

"That was funny, the look on your face," she cracked up laughing.

"Oh ha ha, you aren't the one he keeps asking out."

"I'd give anything for a guy to like me that much," she sighed wistfully.

I rolled my eyes - I know who she was talking about. Eva is totally obsessed with Remus. I think they'd be cute together. Remus needs a girlfriend.


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: The Marauders and Lily aren't mine**

Hey!

My first entry in this diary is kind of random so I'm going to tell you about me and everything important in my life in this entry. My name is Lily Evans and I am a 7th year and Head Girl at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I'm 17, a legal adult in the magical world, and my birthday is 3rd January. I have thick, auburn, wavy hair and emerald green eyes. I also have pale skin and delicate features.

When I was 11, well a few days before my 11th birthday, an owl arrived at my house. The owl was carrying a letter addressed to me. It said that I was a witch and a place at Hogwarts awaited me. At first I was filled with disbelief but eventually I realised a lot of strange things had happened to and around me. So, on the 1st September I got on the scarlet Hogwarts Express and entered the new era of my life. The next 6 years are history. Now, I'm in my last year and Head Girl.

No one else in my family is magical. I live with my parents and sister, Petunia. My mother and Petunia are very alike. They both have blonde hair, a nondescript eye colour and mouths like prunes whenever they see something they don't like. They also have long necks and are always sticking their noses in other people's business. Their opinion of me is also alike. They both think I am a "freak" and they don't like anything except clothes, make-up and the latest gossip- none of which I like. My dad, however, is great. He's a football player who owns a restaurant where they serve delicious food. I love my dad more than anyone; we are very close. When I was little we used to go to games together, still do.

My best friends are Eva and Vicki. We met on the train. They are twins (and half-bloods) but despite this they are very different. Vicki is very loud and Eva is very timorous and bookish. We know everything about each other, even what each other are thinking sometimes. They both look alike with brown, straight hair (Eva's is long while Vicki's is short) and eyes and soft features.

Our rivals are the Marauders. Most of them aren't that bad. I got to know Remus during rounds when we were prefects together. He has sandy brown hair and hazel, sometimes amber, eyes. He's very studious and dedicated because of his secret. When he was a small boy Remus was bitten by a werewolf named Fenrir Greyback. He never thought he would go to school, but Dumbledore let him into Hogwarts and built a secret tunnel leading to the Shrieking Shack for him to go through to transform. Sirius Black is loud, obnoxious, funny, popular and smart. Despite the fact that Black has never cracked a book open in his life for studying (though he has for pranks) he always does well in all his tests. The one word I would use to describe Black is dashing. His black hair is elegantly styled so it falls into his grey eyes. Almost every girl at Hogwarts fancies Black and he flirts shamelessly with all of them- especially the bimbos with no brains. James bloody Potter is the bane of my existence! James has been asking me out since 3rd year and I have said "NO" every single time. James is arrogant, conceited, bigheaded, chauvinistic, a bully, a toe-rag, a piece of scum and, worse of all, Head Boy. I am almost certain that, despite this I am the only girl in the school he can't get to say "yes" and I obstinately refuse to say it. So what if he is the Quidditch captain (a game I secretly love), Head Boy, very intelligent and undeniably _hot_! I will never, _ever_ go out with James Potter. The last Marauder is Peter. He isn't handsome or smart like the rest of the Marauders and no one really knows why he is one. He's slightly chubby with no particularly good looks. These four boys are the Marauders, some of the best pranksters that Hogwarts has ever seen.

The last remaining member of my life is Severus Snape. I first met Sev on the train-he shared the twins and my compartment as the rest were full. We bonded and I am the only one that knows that he is a Half-Blood too. When he was sorted into Slytherin and we were sorted into Gryffindoor we stopped hanging out. He may act rude to me or call me names but I remember that 1st year boy and try to protect him.

Everyone at Hogwarts thinks I am little Miss Perfect Head Girl. They don't know about the pranks wed have pulled, the nights we have got absolutely wasted and what we do in our spare time. The three of us cover our tracks with a spell we discovered which changes your appearance to a chosen disguise. They would be shocked if they knew the truth.


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: The Marauders and Lily aren't mine**

Hey!

My first entry in this diary is kind of random so I'm going to tell you about me and everything important in my life in this entry. My name is Lily Evans and I am a 7th year and Head Girl at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I'm 17, a legal adult in the magical world, and my birthday is 3rd January. I have thick, auburn, wavy hair and emerald green eyes. I also have pale skin and delicate features.

When I was 11, well a few days before my 11th birthday, an owl arrived at my house. The owl was carrying a letter addressed to me. It said that I was a witch and a place at Hogwarts awaited me. At first I was filled with disbelief but eventually I realised a lot of strange things had happened to and around me. So, on the 1st September I got on the scarlet Hogwarts Express and entered the new era of my life. The next 6 years are history. Now, I'm in my last year and Head Girl.

No one else in my family is magical. I live with my parents and sister, Petunia. My mother and Petunia are very alike. They both have blonde hair, a nondescript eye colour and mouths like prunes whenever they see something they don't like. They also have long necks and are always sticking their noses in other people's business. Their opinion of me is also alike. They both think I am a "freak" and they don't like anything except clothes, make-up and the latest gossip- none of which I like. My dad, however, is great. He's a politician. I love my dad more than anyone; we are very close. When I was little we used to go to games together, still do.

My best friends are Eva and Vicki. We met on the train. They are twins (and half-bloods) but despite this they are very different. Vicki is very loud and Eva is very timorous and bookish. We know everything about each other, even what each other are thinking sometimes. They both look alike with brown, straight hair (Eva's is long while Vicki's is short) and eyes and soft features.

Our rivals are the Marauders. Most of them aren't that bad. I got to know Remus during rounds when we were prefects together. He has sandy brown hair and hazel, sometimes amber, eyes. He's very studious and dedicated because of his secret. When he was a small boy Remus was bitten by a werewolf named Fenrir Greyback. He never thought he would go to school, but Dumbledore let him into Hogwarts and built a secret tunnel leading to the Shrieking Shack for him to go through to transform. Sirius Black is loud, obnoxious, funny, popular and smart. Despite the fact that Black has never cracked a book open in his life for studying (though he has for pranks) he always does well in all his tests. The one word I would use to describe Black is dashing. His black hair is elegantly styled so it falls into his grey eyes. Almost every girl at Hogwarts fancies Black and he flirts shamelessly with all of them- especially the bimbos with no brains. James bloody Potter is the bane of my existence! James has been asking me out since 3rd year and I have said "NO" every single time. James is arrogant, conceited, bigheaded, chauvinistic, a bully, a toe-rag, a piece of scum and, worse of all, Head Boy. I am almost certain that, despite this I am the only girl in the school he can't get to say "yes" and I obstinately refuse to say it. So what if he is the Quidditch captain (a game I secretly love), Head Boy, very intelligent and undeniably _hot_! I will never, _ever_ go out with James Potter. The last Marauder is Peter. He isn't handsome or smart like the rest of the Marauders and no one really knows why he is one. He's slightly chubby with no particularly good looks. These four boys are the Marauders, some of the best pranksters that Hogwarts has ever seen.

The last remaining member of my life is Severus Snape. I first met Sev on the train-he shared the twins and my compartment as the rest were full. We bonded and I am the only one that knows that he is a Half-Blood too. When he was sorted into Slytherin and we were sorted into Gryffindoor we stopped hanging out. He may act rude to me or call me names but I remember that 1st year boy and try to protect him.

Everyone at Hogwarts thinks I am little Miss Perfect Head Girl. They don't know about the pranks wed have pulled, the nights we have got absolutely wasted and what we do in our spare time. The three of us cover our tracks with a spell we discovered which changes your appearance to a chosen disguise. They would be shocked if they knew the truth.


	4. Chapter 3

Dear Diary,

I'm at the club in the loos. Things are not going well. So you know how I always come here in disguise, I think Remus recognised me. Here's what has happened so far.

The twins and I had decided to blow off some steam this evening. I'd had a tough day so far with yet another Head's meeting. These meetings seem to last forever because it's just me and James arguing over the points in our common room. All I wanted was to send a nice curse at his head; I know a good one that makes your head change size depending on how bigheaded you are. His would be huge! (That sounded wrong.) Eva is fed up with not dating Remus and Vicki is always up for it.

So, that night we got ready. We showered, dressed and disguised ourselves. I wore a tight, hot pink mini-dress with a low square neckline; Eva wore a black halter-top with sequins on and a denim mini and Vicki wore a black strapless tube dress. We always use the same disguises that are inspired by someone slutty who we admire. My disguise is Daisy Duke. I have blonde, shoulder-length hair, a great figure and a great face. Eva's disguise is Phoebe from that TV show Charmed. She has her hair in short brown curls and has a full mouth and hot brown eyes. Vicki's disguise is Faith from Buffy. She has luscious, thick, brown locks and a slightly pale face with red lips.

We headed out to the club through the tunnel at Honeydukes. The twins are related to the owner so he lets us use it. We got to the club and grabbed some drinks. Vicki headed straight to the dance floor while Eva and I commandeered a table and scanned for familiar or fit faces.

"Remus is here! Remus is here!" Eva squealed loudly.

"And the rest of that motley crew," I as Remus turned to face us and cocked his head to one side. A look of intense concentration was on his face and his nostrils flared. He turned towards Vicki then back at us.

"Uhoh!" I breathed. Did Remus have heightened senses all month?

"What?" Eva asked turning to look at me.

"Nothing, let's go dance!"

I led her to the dance floor making sure to brush past Remus to see his reaction. He immediately linked eyes with me and kept looking even after I had broken eye contact. He definitely knew it was us, whether from our scent or sound I don't know.


	5. Chapter 4

Dear Diary,

I confronted Remus after breakfast. I wanted to know if he had told, would tell. I wanted…no… _needed_ him to keep that part of me a secret; the girl at the club isn't the same person as the Head Girl. They are two different people from two different worlds.

So I walked up to stand in front of him and said, "Remus, can I talk to you?"

"Sure." he replied.

"Privately?" I reinforced.

He nodded and I led him to a corridor just outside the great hall.

"So what's this about?" he asked.

"I'm not stupid Remus, and neither are you. We both know what this is about."

"I won't tell," he answered quietly.

"Why not?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"Secrets are kept for a reason. Whatever your reason is, I'll keep your secret."

I remembered his and smiled weakly, "And I'll keep yours. If you ever need to talk…I'll probably be wherever James is. We both know he stalks me. How he always knows where I am is a mystery."

Remus grinned at my obvious digging, "And it will always be a mystery. You do realise you called him James, right?"

"Potter is so formal. Besides, last names are more of a guy thing. I only call him Potter to stop him thinking I like him," I thought about this for a while before adding, "not that it works."

"He knows you don't, he's just persistent."

"That's an understatement." I was well aware he had managed to change the subject. "You can go back and eat now."

"You coming?" Remus asked as he turned to go.

"No, James is in there. I'll go to the kitchens."

So my secret will remain safe for another day.


	6. Chapter 5

Dear Diary,

I foresee today won't be good. Want to know why? I have a Heads' meeting. With James Potter (I shudder at the thought). I always end up shouting at him and he always ruffles his hair and asks me out. Well, I guess I have to get out of bed to go to classes and the Heads' meeting to keep up pretences.

I'm up, I'm showered, I'm dressed…but he's in the common room. Right, I'm-better-than-you face on, witty one-liner prepared. Let's go! Yep, he's there, move briskly towards the portrait hole. I'm through and he didn't even ask me out!

So I've made it through the day, so far. I'm on my way to the Heads' common room. Did I mention we have our own dorms and common room? Well, we do. My dorm is beautiful. It has plush sofas next to a huge set of bookshelves, a huge antique wardrobe, a full-length ornate mirror and this ultra comfy four-poster bed that is big enough for two people. It's cream, gold and mahogany. I love it; it's so me, both of me.

He's late as always. Turns out we have to organise a ball for Halloween. It's for 4th to 7th years. We are deciding on theme (masquerade), colour scheme (orange and black), dress code (muggle costumes) and a menu. I'm not shouting at him and he isn't asking me out. Maybe the world is ending or maybe he's finally learning or maybe he knows I have to dance the first dance with him anyway. You know, I have an idea…


	7. Chapter 6

Dear Diary,

It worked. I have two dates for the ball. So, I walked over to the Marauders in the Gryffindor common room and asked…Remus to go to the dance with me. The look on James' face, a mixture of rage, envy and disappointment. Remus just looked shocked, he said yes though. I smiled at him to reassure him and left. I went to the girls' dorm where I had left my Daisy outfit- a shorter, tighter school uniform. I switched my appearance to her and checked my hair and make-up. Perfect! I walked back down and as I walked towards James felt every boy in the common room eyes on me. I smiled inwardly and sat down on the arm of James' chair next to an openly ogling Sirius.

"Hey babe," he drawled in his "sexy" voice.

"Hey," I smiled at him and Remus. "You're James, right?"

James replied, "Yeah, that's me, this is Sirius, Remus and Peter."

"Nice to meet you all, I'm Daisy," I replied cheerfully.

"I haven't seen you around before and I know I'd notice someone as beautiful as you. You new?" Sirius asked, trying to be charming.

"No, I've been around. You must not have been looking too hard. I saw you the other day at the club. Maybe you didn't see me 'cause you were looking at my friend, Faith, in the strapless black dress?" I teased.

"So what were you wearing?" James asked.

"Hot pink. That's not the point though, James. I heard there's a ball coming up, want to go with me?" I asked.

He looked indecisive for a while before glancing at Remus, "Sure, I'd love to go with you."

"Good," I smiled at him. "Bye guys. I've got to go plan what to wear."

Ah, the irony. You have got to love it. James thinks I'm going with Remus when I'm really going with him.


	8. Chapter 7

Dear Diary,

The Ball is tomorrow night and James and I have been very busy lately and have had to spend a lot of time together. He's not as bad as I thought he was. He's cute too. I've noticed lately he doesn't ruffle his hair as much or prank people (except Slytherins). It's nice to think he's more mature but only time will tell if he really is.

I hope Remus understands that I don't really like him. I'm just sick of James asking me out and if I only know one thing about James Potter it's that he is loyal to his friends and would never date anyone he considered 'their girl'.


	9. Chapter 8

Dear Diary,

I'm so excited about the ball. We've just finished getting the hall ready and we have to open the ball in 2 hours. It's time to get ready!

We're all showered and Eva is doing Vicki's hair, now I've got them motivated… I get the feeling I got them from the Common Room to our dorm quite…. forcefully. Ahem. Well, when Eva's finished with Vicki, she's going to do my hair, then I'll do her hair and Vicki's make-up and Vicki will do mine and Eva's. Meticulous planning, all this preparation takes!

I'm going to set up Remus with Eva – she doesn't have a date and I think they'll be good together. Vicki is going with, wonder of all wonders, Sirius. I'll be (pleasantly) surprised if they both make it through the night, to be honest. They are well suited, undoubtedly and similar – just a bit too similar.

I have two dresses for my two different dates. Lily will be wearing a white backless dress that pools at her sandaled feet. It's adorned with sequins and glitter, as is its matching white butterfly mask. Her hair is going to be in a bun with curls falling around her face, glitter eye shadow and blood red lips. Daisy, however… _she_ will be wearing a black dress that's short and glittery. Over the dress, she's wearing a black satin corset that matches the simple mask with simple make-up: dark eyes and red lips. Just explaining it here is confusing me!

Eva will be wearing a simple sky blue chiffon knee-length dress with a square neckline and a brown ribbon under her breasts. Her matching pumps, bag and mask will perfectly complete her outfit. Vicki is going to be wearing a tight scarlet dress that's floor length, with a slit up to mid-thigh. (I wonder what Sirius will think of that? He'll love it, I'd say!) She'll be wearing black shoes and a black mask.

Even though I've planned this intricately I can't help feeling that something is going to go wrong…


	10. Chapter 9

Dear Diary,

The ball's over now. I have to admit it was great. James and I work well together.

I arrived at the ball with Remus and opened the ball with James. As we waltzed together I couldn't help notice how well he danced and how nice he felt. I'm almost certain he felt the same, as he seemed so reluctant for us to part at the end of the song. However, we stopped dancing and I went over to join Remus, smiling at him. We danced and talked for the first hour before I propelled him to Eva. I left them together with only the explanation of needing to get changed.

I left the hall and went to the nearest prefect bathroom where I had left my other outfit. I slipped off my dress and pulled on the next, after changing into Daisy. Using spells I found in the library I charmed my make-up on and my corset up. Adjusting my hair, I gave myself a once over before leaving the prefect bathroom to meet James.

I walked into the Great Hall and searched for James. I found him talking to the other Marauders, Vicki and Eva. I strolled over and caught the last of their conversation before James noticed me.

"Are you sure she doesn't mind? I mean, you were her date," James was asking Remus.

"Positive, she only asked because she had to have one and I'm her friend," he explained, smiling at me. "Oh, and your date's here."

James turned to face me and if I had to describe the expression on his face it was awe, possibly wonderment. Definitely a Kodak moment. I smiled at him and then at the twins and Remus.

"Hey Daisy! I was beginning to think you had stood me up," James greeted me.

"Yeah, sorry about that. Something came up and made me late but I dealt with it and I'm here now," I smiled cheerfully at him.

"Everything ok?" James asked, obviously concerned.

"Yeah, thanks for asking, it was sweet of you," I smiled at him before turning to the others. "Hey girls, Remus, Sirius, Peter."

"Oh, do you know each other then?" Sirius asked, making all three of us smile.

"You could say that," Vicki answered.

"In a manner of speaking," Eva finished.

"I know someone who's friends with both of them," I explained. "Lily? She was the one who suggested I ask you out, James. She said you weren't a bad guy and she'd really appreciate it if someone stopped you from asking her out. I think she might like you better if you did," I teased playfully knowing it was only encouraging him to ask me out more, which I'll regret by tomorrow.

"I'll keep that in mind although I'm surprised she said such nice things about me. Do you want to dance?" James replied.

"Sure."

We danced for the rest of the night and there was chemistry between us. I'm not sure if that means anything or not between Lily and James though - I'm not sure if I like James. He's cute and a lot more mature than he used to be. He's also kind, loyal and funny but there's something holding me back, something stopping me from liking him. There's just something wrong.


	11. Chapter 10

Dear Diary,

I overly blew up at James today, more than usual. He kept going on and on about his latest conquest who just happens to be me…Daisy…whatever. I said something that made it so obvious I'm Daisy but he didn't catch on, thank god. I keep slipping up around him lately; I say something I wouldn't say or do something I wouldn't do. It's so hard to keep it a secret when I see him all the time; I even live with him. Some day I'm going to get so frustrated I just end up screaming, "I'm Daisy" in the middle of the Great Hall and getting wasted.

What upsets me the most isn't that James is saying it, it's that we didn't actually have sex. It gives me, Daisy, a bad reputation. I'm by no means a virgin but I'm not a slut and I did not sleep with him. Admittedly the reason I didn't was because I knew he would find out who I am and not because I didn't want to, rumours say he's pretty good in bed. In fact, a girl in my Charms class once told me that the reason he was so bigheaded was because of his large…you know. I cracked up at that one causing Flitwick to tell us off. After he'd left she'd asked me in a perfectly serious tone if I'd ever seen him sit with his legs crossed, I had to admit I hadn't…and I live with him.

Let me explain how I almost gave myself up. There he was, gloating to his friends about his night with Daisy after the ball in the common while I was trying to do my work so I could go out partying later. He'd kept talking 'til I just had to yell at him to shut up and that I would never have slept with him. He stared at me for a moment before I realised my slip up and added that I knew Daisy hadn't either and that it had really upset her that he had claimed he had had sex with her when he hadn't. He stared at me in utter shock before I turned and stalked to my room catching one look at Remus' amused face.

* * *

**Hello! This is just a quick note to say thank you for reviewing and if you haven't reviewed yet to please do so. I don't care if all you say is whether you thought it was good or bad I'll still be very pleased. Thank you to dracosbabygrl ( I love your name and, of course, Draco), Golden Angel71, EboniteEvans, and-chaos-reigned, Samantha, Hand truefairy lights. **


	12. Chapter 11

Dear Diary,

I had a hangover this morning as per usual on a Saturday, Sunday and Monday morning…and a few other mornings too. Daisy really let loose last night but that's pretty much all I can remember. I remember getting ready and going out and I remember music, alcohol and boys but not much else, everything is kind of fuzzy.

On my way to make the Hangover Cure I bumped into the Marauders (I swear James actually stalks me). They were going on about how they had a great tine at the club and how all the girls loved them. I ignored them and their drivel until I heard my, well Daisy's, name mentioned.

"Did you see us dancing? She was all over me, grinding away. I was really afraid she was pissed off at me but if her dancing last night shows anything, she wasn't. Lily just blew things way out of proportion," James was saying.

I walked round the corner and glared at his back until Remus caught sight of me.

"Uh, James? Maybe we should talk about something else?" he asked nervously, his eyes flitting from my face to James'. "When's the next Quidditch match?"

"Not for weeks and it's against Hufflepuff," he replied distractedly.

"Yeah, so we're sure to win," Sirius added with a laugh.

"But really," James began, "Lily was just plain wrong. Daisy didn't care, she was perfectly happy with me."

"Daisy was drunk," I said sharply. "She had no idea what she was doing."

"Yeah, really, says who? You? Do you even know what drunk is?" a pale James asked.

"Drunk is what you get when you drink too much and aren't aware of your actions or the consequences of them. It's the reason I am going down to the dungeons on a Saturday morning to get a Hangover Cure for Daisy. Just because I don't drink all the time doesn't mean I don't know what being drunk is," I answered primly, inwardly laughing at the irony of my statement.

"Oh don't get your knickers in a twist Miss Perfect and I'm not going to believe Daisy doesn't like me 'til she tells me to my face. Where is she all the time anyway? I hardly ever see her."

I smiled at this before answering with a brief, "She just isn't in any of your classes."

I quickly walked past on my way to get the Hangover Cure (my hangover was much worse by then), stopping only to reassure Remus I would be at the willow tonight.


	13. Chapter 12

Dear Diary,

Tonight is the full moon and I will, with Sirius, Peter and James, be joining Remus in his transformation.

When I first discovered his secret I confronted him, proving to him without a doubt that I knew he was a werewolf. I had been gathering proof for the last couple of months. I recorded when he went to visit his ill mum and checked lunar charts. I watched to see if he ever touched silver or if he ever changed around the full moon. I got visible, tangible, quantative evidence that he was a werewolf and he could not deny it.

He immediately thought I would abandon him and no longer want to be his friend or expose him. I scoffed the idea, pointing out it was just like the prejudice some people have against my blood and burnt the evidence in front of him. He tried to argue that it was different, that he was a Dark Creature but I told him he had my friendship whether he wanted it or not.

I proceeded to ask about his transformations. Were they hard? Painful? Was there anything I could do? He denied both but I could tell he was lying. I began to watch him around the full moon and noticed he could often be seen whispering with the other Marauders in the days before a full moon. Remus had told me they knew about his condition so their behaviour seemed extremely fishy. One full moon, I watched from the Girls' Staircase and saw them staying up later than everyone else. After everyone had left the common room they turned to James who pulled out a silvery piece of material and threw it over them. They disappeared and I realised the silvery material must have been an Invisibility Cloak; Eva and Vicki have one too.

I snuck upstairs to borrow their Cloak and then back to the common room and out the portrait hole. I followed the noise they were making and silently trailed them to the Entrance Hall. They opened the door and snuck outside and I followed them before the door could clang shut. I followed them from a reasonable distance and saw them approach the Weeping Willow and transform. This was all I needed to see and staying out any longer could have been dangerous. I quickly snuck back to bed, determined to talk to Remus in the morning.

I told him what I saw the next morning and, after scolding me for my reckless actions, he agreed to help me become an animagus. I completed my first successful transformation at the beginning of term and have been flying around above the Marauders for the last few transformations.

Tonight I'll go through my usual preparations and transform in my dorm (one of the luxuries of private dorms) and fly down to meet the others. They usually just run around the school grounds so I just fly over them and keep them company. As an owl there is not much I can do to keep him under control other than flying round his head and pecking him. However, I could make a good spy to check for danger or people ahead. I'll talk to James before I transform. I'm still mad at him but Remus is more important tonight.


	14. Chapter 13

Dear Diary,

I can't believe what Sirius has done. I mean, I've always known he hated Severus but I never imagined he hated him enough to end his life. Sirius' foolish prank not only endangered Severus' life and his own future but Remus' piece of mind and prospects.

The only positive thing about this whole situation is that I've seen a whole new side of James. I was so shocked that James actually saved Severus - despite the fact that he dislikes Severus almost as much, if not as much, as Sirius does. I never thought of James as honourable or noble but he has proved himself to be both. Perhaps I should be kind to him (not only as Daisy) now. I still won't date him but I suppose I could stop insulting him… unless he asks for it.

Let me explain what happened. Last night I spoke to James and he asked me to transform and scout for people. I did so and was shocked to see Severus sneaking towards the Whomping Willow. I flew quickly back to James and transformed to tell him about Severus. He left, running as soon as I had spoken.

I retransformed and followed James as he ran to the Great Hall. When I got there, I saw Sirius leaning against the wall and James yelling at him. I immediately deduced that Sirius had told Severus how to get to the Shrieking Shack. I flew forward and began to nip and peck at Sirius and when James protested I turned and looked at the door to remind him of what was happening. His eyes widened and he ran off into the night. I remained with Sirius in the Great Hall and a short time later James came in, supporting Severus who was limping next to him.

"He's OK," James panted. "He just sprained his ankle getting out."

Sirius turned and walked away and I flew back to my room to transform.

After transforming I raced down to the Hospital Wing to check on James and Severus. Before I entered I realised that I didn't know whether James had told them that I was involved in the incident and that I should have an excuse for being there in case he hadn't. I thought of one quickly and walked in. Seeing that Madame Pomfrey was not there I ran to Severus' bed and gave him a quick hug, completely shocking James who sitting near him.

"Are you OK Severus?" I asked nervously.

"I'm fine, Lily. But I could have died because of what that oaf did. How could Dumbledore let a werewolf into the school? I could tell everyone and-"

"But you won't," Lily interrupted. "You shouldn't judge people by what they are or what has happened to them. Right?"

The look on his face showed me just how low that blow was.

"Right," he muttered. "You shouldn't judge people on what they can't control."

I nodded and reached out to grasp his hand and, leaning down, whispered in his ear, "Everything will be alright."

He smiled, "Nothing but good times ahead."

* * *

**Sorry it's been so long. I'll be writing more now and you won't have to wait so long between chapters. Thanks for waiting.**


	15. Chapter 14

Dear Diary,

James had been staring at me in such a peculiar manner for a long time. We were both sitting silently in our common room, waiting for news about Remus, Severus and Sirius and he had been staring at me ever since I sat down. He wasn't even staring at me in the way he usually does, you know, dazed, drooling, longing in his eyes. His stare was colder, calculating. I had tried and failed to ignore it but it was really getting on my nerves.

"_What?_" I snapped out.

"What was that thing you said to Snivellus?" James demanded coolly.

"Private joke," I replied in a tone that implies the subject is closed. "And _his name is not Snivellus!"_

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know," James muttered under his breath. "Since when do you share private jokes with Snape?"

"First year."

"But he insults you. He's evil scum."

"No, he's really not… and you had better stop insulting my friends. I can make your life a living hell."

"Friend? Snape has friends? I thought everyone was scared away by his greasy hair," James answered scathingly.

"Don't. Say. One. More. Word." I ordered him; teeth clenched shut and eyes narrowed. "Severus is in the hospital wing because of your stupid friend who will probably not even receive the punishment he deserves."

"What's that supposed to mean? You're blaming Remus? Great friend you are."

"No, I'm blaming Sirius. I know it wasn't Remus' fault and besides, he knows too much about me for me to risk pissing him off. And even you have to admit that Dumbledore, great man that he is, is biased towards Gryffindors."

"Dumbledore is a genius, wise and kind. He is not biased! What does Remus know about you? I doubt you have ever done anything wrong."

"Dumbledore will always favour the Gryffindors and distrust and doubt the Slytherins. He was a Gryffindor. It's our way to mistrust those least like you."

"So why are you friends with Snape?"

"Because I can see through all of that and see what he's really like deep down."

**AN: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I forgot to post the chapters I had ready. To apologise I'm posting four at once. This is just a repost as I noticed a mistake but the next three are not. I'm sorry and Merry Christmas.**

PLEASE REVIEW!


	16. Chapter 15

Dear Diary,

I realise that when I last wrote I was in the middle of a grave situation. Sirius had told Severus about the tunnel to the Shrieking Shack in the hopes Remus would kill him but James saved him. I've been dealing with it all so I haven't had a chance to write but now seems like a good time to tell you what happened.

Remus was collected from the Shrieking Shack as usual the next morning and was given that day to recover. Dumbledore forbade us from seeing him and tell him wheat had happened, as Dumbledore thought that it might make him worse in his delicate condition. Eventually, Dumbledore told Remus what had happened. As expected, Remus was furious with Sirius. Both he and James stopped talking to Sirius and they still aren't talking to him. I cannot imagine how betrayed Remus must feel, or how it must feel to know you almost killed someone. It must hurt more than all his transformations. Betrayal is the worst sort of pain.

The school has been in uproar. Everyone is wondering what has split up the quartet of friends who everyone thought would be friends forever. It seems sad that they can't fight in peace. It's bad enough to be fighting with your best friends, even without it being a very public affair. I feel sorry for Peter -he doesn't really understand what's going on or why his only friends are fighting. He tries to remain friends with all of them but it's hard because they seem to see it as betrayal, when really he's just trying to stay friends with them all.

Eva, Vicki and I have been watching them with pity. Although they don't know the details Eva is on Remus' side and Vicki is on Sirius'. I was really surprised by their choices, really, I was. I'm just waiting for Remus and Eva or Sirius and Vicki to get together. Maybe it will happen some time soon. I can't deny that with the Marauders split up now would be the perfect time to hook up with them. Luckily, I'm still sane so I am not taking this chance to get the 'Great Catch' James or the 'Sex God of Hogwarts' Sirius or 'The Most Sensitive, Sweet and yet Incredibly Hot' Remus. Girls really do say these sorts of things, including Eva. Guess which one she said.

As much as James makes my life miserable at times (all day, everyday), I hate seeing all of the Marauders so sad and despite how mad I am at Sirius I want them all to be friends again more than (almost) anything.


	17. Chapter 16

Dear Diary,

I was so stupid. I forgot that the Marauders had finally made up and got back together. I planned my night out, my night to have fun, perfectly. I just forgot that the Marauders would use any excuse to go out, party and get drunk.

So when I got to the club, dressed in my favourite black mini and halter and in my Daisy form, they were already there. Sirius and James were in the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by girls, and Remus and Peter were at the bar, chatting to each other. I sighed and looked at Vicki and Eve/Phoebe and Faith.

"Go get him," I told Eve. "He knows who you are, so don't worry about that."

She smiled at me, "As if I would."

She walked over to the bar and I shared a look with Vicki.

"She would," Vicki stated and I laughed, nodding.

"Let's go see Sirius and James then. I know you want Sirius."

"I don't!" Vicki protested.

"You do."

She thought for a moment before looking over at Sirius, "Let's go."

We moved through the crowd of grinding dancers until we got to James and Sirius' ring of fan girls. Catching James' eye, I gave him a flirtatious smile and saw Vicki do the same to Sirius. The two boys looked at each other and James whispered into Sirius' ear. They detached themselves from their dancing partners and lead us back over to Remus, Eve and Peter.

"Can I buy you a drink?" James asked.

I nodded, " Just tell the barman I want my usual."

Sirius arched and eyebrow at Vicki. "Same goes for me," she answered.

They ordered and the barman came back with our drinks and another glass of mine that had been sent from "The guy at the end of the bar". I looked and almost laughed when I saw who it was. Severus certainly has a sense of humour. I winked at him and when James looked to see who sent it I smiled at a Hufflepuff further down the bar, whom I had slept with once before. He smiled back, slightly confused. I turned back to James.

"I haven't seen you around recently," I said, " and I heard at school that you guys had a fight. Is that true?"

"Yeah," said James, running his hand through his hair. " But that's all over now. We're thick as thieves again… or maybe I should say, we're thick as Marauders. Expect a prank sometime soon."

"I'll bear that in mind with everything I eat, drink or touch," I joked.

"Oh come on! Are you seriously telling me you've never pulled a prank?"

I laughed, "Oh, I wouldn't say that. I've pulled some very good ones. Ones that _you_ claimed credit for."

"That was you?" he let out a low whistle. "Wow, you really are good."

"I'm good at other things too."

"Oh really? Why don't we see about that?"

We walked out onto the dance floor and I started dancing. He pulled me closer and began dancing with me.

"I thought I was meant to be showing you what I'm good at," I whispered in his ear.

"You're pretty good at this," he breathed.

"True, but that's not what I was talking about," I whispered, so close my lips were brushing his. He closed the distance and I was locked in the most passionate kiss I have ever been in. His mouth fitted mine so well I trembled. I could taste his drink and something else, something forbidden and decidedly James. His tongue against mine was hot and devastating and when he broke the kiss I was breathless, dizzy and aching for more. When I looked into his eyes he looked as dazed as I was. So I kissed him again, harder this time, falling into him as glitter exploded behind my eyelids. His hands felt hot on my waist and were moving upwards. I broke away and looked into his eyes.

"Not here," I muttered.

"We could go to my room," he suggested.

"I'm not that drunk yet," I countered.

"Well then, I'll get you another drink."

I smiled at him, still feeling slightly dazed, "Good idea. I'm just going to go and freshen up and then I'll meet you at the bar."

He smiled and leaned in for a brief kiss. "Good plan," he said when we moved away from each other.

I walked past a fiercely making out Vicki and Sirius and smiled. Then I walked into the toilets and into a cubicle and pulled you out, enlarged you and started to write before I become to drunk to remember anything. Now I've got to go back to James and his perfect kisses and try not to fall into his bed.


	18. Chapter 17

Dear Diary,

Oh fuck! How did I let this happen? This morning I woke up with a hangover the size of Mars, in a bed that wasn't my own. It was James'!

He was still asleep so I untangled our limbs (OK, I'll admit it, I peeked) and slid out of his bed. Then I proceeded to try and find all my clothes, which were scattered around the room. I looked into the mirror and realised I was me again, leading to a fit of swearing. I looked over the clothes I had and noticed only the knickers and skirt would fit me in this form. Daisy has _large tits_ - larger than mine anyway.

I pulled on the knickers and skirt and grabbed the shirt James had worn last night to cover my chest in case Sirius, Remus and Peter were passed out on the sofa in the common room, as they had been on various other mornings.

When I got to the door it wouldn't open. Apparently, the same charm that stops us getting into each other's dorms without permission stops us getting out of them too. And the pile of shit I was in just kept growing. I stumbled into the middle of the room and spun around searching for a way to escape. Then my eyes lighted on the bathroom door. Of course, the bathroom led directly to my room and I could always pretend I was going to have a shower if he caught me. I flew to the bathroom door and opened it. I walked into the bathroom and the door swung shut behind me, unfortunately making a very loud noise.

"Shit!" I muttered, staring at the door.

As I stared, the door opened and James walked in, clad in only his boxers. I saw his surprised gaze sweep to me and saw confusion on his face as his eyes became fixed in what I was wearing.

"Why are you wearing my shirt?" he asked, puzzled.

"Uh…well…you see…ugh, I got nothing,"

"Helpful. Let me see if I can work it out." I winced at this and crossed my fingers hoping he wouldn't. "You're wearing the shirt I wore yesterday, the skirt Daisy wore yesterday, the door from my bedroom to the bathroom just slammed shut and you are looking more than a little guilty and startled and Daisy is missing."

"She is?" I asked, faking surprise.

"Yes, Daisy, you are," James said with certainty.

"Shit," I muttered and slid down the wall I had backed into as we were talking. "Shit!"

"I think we've established that," James muttered. "Wait one second here…Merlin!"

"What?" I asked tiredly.

"I slept with Lily Evans!"

"Ugh! Is that all you care about? And to think Daisy liked you. And besides, you didn't sleep with me, you screwed Daisy!" I screamed, disgusted at James.

"You _are_ Daisy!" He retorted.

I ignored that. With a final glare I stormed into my room and slammed the door. The noise made me wince and reminded me I still had a potion to make. I decided to dress before that, but I'm still waiting for James to leave the bathroom. (He's taking so long in there. What is he doing? Wanking off? I'm surprised Daisy didn't tire him out last night…) That's why I'm writing in you. Now James knows, it won't be long until the whole school does and the secret I have done so much to keep will be exposed and my life will be ruined.


	19. Chapter 18

Dear Diary,

At about ten I gathered the courage to go outside my room and face James and the students of Hogwarts. Tentatively, I opened my bedroom door and walked down the stairs, stopping at the bottom to make sure James wasn't there. I'm not a chicken but there's no point looking for trouble is there? If it wants to find me, it will. He wasn't there so I crossed the common room and made it out into the corridor. First obstacle down, I just hoped the reason he wasn't there wasn't that he was out telling everyone I'm Daisy.

Sneaking through corridors sure is difficult when you don't have a mask, an invisibility charm or an invisibility cloak. I did consider for a moment using a disillusionment charm but decided that I'd have just got in trouble with a teacher and drawn more attention to myself. The amount of people that greeted me was amazing. Maybe they didn't know yet, or worse, they were just making fun of me. I finally made it down to the dungeons after smiling at all the students who apparently hadn't heard yet. I think the whole of Gryffindor and maybe a few Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws must have greeted me but I got there eventually. Obstacle two down, now to make the potion.

It's not a complicated potion and I have made it so many times I know the recipe off by heart and back to front by now. This meant I didn't have to pay any attention to what I was doing, which left me time for wondering about why no one was acting differently. My best theory was that he was waiting for a big event where he could make a more embarrassing situation, which was only worse for me.

Luckily for me, while I was making my potion Remus came in and I could tell that it would be a great opportunity to find out what James had said. What really stunned me was that when I asked Remus what James had said about me being Daisy Remus had said he didn't even know that James knew and that he hadn't said anything at all. He hadn't even said anything to him and Sirius. I stared at Remus in shock for so long I almost ruined my potion. Because he is James Potter and I am Lily Evans and things like that don't happen when James is around. James seems to be maturing. Next thing you know he'll stop cursing people and start staying in all night like me. Well, at least like I'm supposed to be.


	20. Chapter 19

Dear Diary,

At about ten I gathered the courage to go outside my room and face James and the students of Hogwarts. Tentatively, I opened my bedroom door and walked down the stairs, stopping at the bottom to make sure James wasn't there. I'm not a chicken but there's no point looking for trouble is there? If it wants to find me, it will. He wasn't there so I crossed the common room and made it out into the corridor. First obstacle down, I just hoped the reason he wasn't there wasn't that he was out telling everyone I'm Daisy.

Sneaking through corridors sure is difficult when you don't have a mask, an invisibility charm or an invisibility cloak. I did consider for a moment using a disillusionment charm but decided that I'd have just got in trouble with a teacher and drawn more attention to myself. The amount of people that greeted me was amazing. Maybe they didn't know yet, or worse, they were just making fun of me. I finally made it down to the dungeons after smiling at all the students who apparently hadn't heard yet. I think the whole of Gryffindor and maybe a few Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws must have greeted me but I got there eventually. Obstacle two down, now to make the potion.

It's not a complicated potion and I have made it so many times I know the recipe off by heart and back to front by now. This meant I didn't have to pay any attention to what I was doing, which left me time for wondering about why no one was acting differently. My best theory was that he was waiting for a big event where he could make a more embarrassing situation, which was only worse for me.

Luckily for me, while I was making my potion Remus came in and I could tell that it would be a great opportunity to find out what James had said. What really stunned me was that when I asked Remus what James had said about me being Daisy Remus had said he didn't even know that James knew and that he hadn't said anything at all. He hadn't even said anything to him and Sirius. I stared at Remus in shock for so long I almost ruined my potion. Because he is James Potter and I am Lily Evans and things like that don't happen when James is around. James seems to be maturing. Next thing you know he'll stop cursing people and start staying in all night like me. Well, at least like I'm supposed to be.


	21. Chapter 20

Dear Diary,

I've been avoiding James ever since he found out, something that's hard to do considering I live with him. Surprisingly, no one else knows yet. Not even Sirius as far as I can tell. Still, his initial reaction cannot be forgiven easily.

I've talked to Remus about it when I can, in the library, the astronomy tower (when no one is there making out), and the Room of Requirement and on patrols. Apparently James hasn't mentioned it yet. He hasn't even told them he had sex with Daisy. Of course, that doesn't mean that he won't. If he ever does tell I will be so pissed off, he won't know what hit him. I'll hit him with every curse I know, play endless pranks on him and would be quite happy if I killed him. Well - maybe that's a slight exaggeration. I've been spending all my time in my room or in the library or in the Gryffindor common room or hanging out with Severus or Remus and Eva. Vicki has been spending all her time with Sirius and since he spends all his time with James they are both no goes. Don't get me wrong, Remus and Eva still spend time with James, Sirius and Vicki but they spend time with me too. Times like these make me glad Severus is my friend. He's always willing to spend time with me, even if we're only reading some books or doing our homework together. I don't have to say anything to him and he never asks me to explain or asks what's wrong. The only problem is that we can't be seen together. It is even more important now that the Slytherins don't find out that he's a half blood. With graduation coming up and all this talk about Death Eaters it would be dangerous for us both, and especially for him, if anyone found out. I just wish things were back to normal.


	22. Chapter 21

Dear Diary,

I am so bored of all this crap with James. I can't go into my own common room any more because I'm so scared to see him. I think Eva and Vicki are getting sick of me avoiding him, although I know they understand the circumstances. Sev is really pleased to be able to spend time with me. I know that he doesn't have many other friends and the friends he does have in Slytherin aren't exactly the nicest of people. To be honest, I'm worried about him. Graduation is only a few months away and after that, who knows what will happen to him? There is a chance that he, like many other Slytherins, will be invited to join this 'Lord Voldemort'. Sev isn't evil but he has had a lot of bad things happen to him. He's always wanted the power to stop his father beating him, to stop James and Sirius when they mercilessly torment him. They don't understand what a tough life he has had, no one does, not even me. No matter how much I try I can never know what it's like to be beaten by my own father and so I can never really understand everything about him. Sev's past has made him bitter and I am scared that he will join that monster and be killed, or worse, turn into a monster himself.

My home life was a good one. My parents loved each other and me and Pet. They weren't always around, their jobs stopped them from that, but they always showed us they cared when they could. My mother is a lawyer, she works for a large firm in the city and specialises in financial law. She says that she never wanted to be a criminal lawyer, that she would never be able to handle the stress. My father is a politician. He's part of the Conservative Party as the Shadow Foreign Affairs Minister and has to go to other countries for meetings. Occasionally he'll take us with him if it's in the school holidays. We're very lucky and proud of him because he is very important and very close to Margaret Thatcher, the leader of the Conservative Party. Petunia and I used to be close but when she found out I was a witch she hated me. I think that deep down she was jealous; Pet's always been more of a girly girl than me. Her favourite colour was pink and she still loves anything sparkly. She was interested in boys at the age of 8 and has been ever since. She often goes out and watches the local lads play footie with her mates. She's one of the giggly girls that constantly flirts with the players, you know the sort I mean, the ones with short skirts even in winter and a high pitched laugh.

I was always more interested in my studies and I guess I could say I was my parents' favourite. I definitely am now that they know that I am a witch. It's hard; they put a lot of pressure on me. I feel as though I have to do well, be the best, and succeed at everything I try. When I got to Hogwarts it was a relief from the pressure. My parents were far away and couldn't monitor my every move. I began to relax; I became friends with Vicki and Eva and started having fun. My first letter from my parents brought back the reality of who I was and what was expected of me. It came at the end of my first month at school, they apologised for not writing sooner and explaining that they wanted to make it easier for me to settle in. The letter made me realise that I couldn't just enjoy myself without thinking about the consequences. One day they might find out and that could never happen. What was worse was that since my parents were quite important people, stories of me could appear in Muggle papers and Dad could lose his position in the party. Admittedly, nothing I was doing then was that bad, as I was only young, but I knew that as I got older my actions would become more scandalous and it would be shameful for my family if these things ever got out. After all, who could take a politician whose daughter was notorious for sleeping around seriously.

So that's when I created Daisy. I started working twice as hard at school and in my spare time I searched for a way to have fun without anyone knowing it was me. I learnt a lot of memory erasing charms before finally finding the perfect spell accidentally. With the help of Vicki and Eva I finally created Daisy by the end of my first year. I put a lot of myself into Daisy. It was like I split myself into two people, the Lily Evans everyone saw and Daisy, without really being either of them. That's what I meant when I said James didn't really sleep with me. James slept with half of me. The real me is a virgin because no one has ever slept with both of me, the real me.

That's the real reason I'm avoiding James. I'm afraid. Not only that he'll tell the whole school that Lily Evans and Daisy are one and the same but that he'll be the one person to get through to the real me. James is the only person who has ever liked both sides of me, even separately. He's so amazing, loathe as I am to admit it. He can be kind, intelligent and sensitive and yet still be great fun and a total prankster. He's perfectly in sync, both sides in one. He mirrors me precisely and yet he's so different. James is free to be whomever he wants to be, I don't get that luxury. I have to be Lily Evans: perfect daughter, perfect student and perfect Head Girl. I don't get to have faults like James does. All I want is a chance to be myself and be free. But would James really be the one to give me that chance? It seems absurd but I have a feeling he's exactly what I need and that petrifies me. So I'm avoiding him and hoping things will go back to how they used to be. Because I'm too scared to be free and because I know I never really can be.

* * *

**A/N: Well I hope that clears some things up. Thanks for reading and please review**


	23. Chapter 22

Dear Diary,

I hate him. He doesn't understand anything. I could never like him.

I had the fight with James today, the one we all knew was coming. After avoiding him for two weeks, rearranging prefect meetings and cancelling Head meetings, I finally bumped into him on the staircase that was a shortcut between the Room of Requirement and the Heads' Suite.

We stared at each other for what seemed like aeons as I thought up every possible excuse for leaving and turned each and every one down. They all sounded ridiculous and false, probably because they were ridiculous and false. So, I had no excuse to leave but that didn't mean I couldn't.

I turned to go and he spoke, "Don't," he said softly.

I looked at him, "Why not?"

"Because I have some things to say and you never let me talk to you. I haven't seen you in two weeks except for in class, when you sit as far away from me as possible. And we live together! Talk to me, if only because we have to work together. Please."

"Fine, I'll listen but this doesn't mean everything is fine between us and it doesn't mean we're suddenly friends. It doesn't mean anything."

"OK, I get it," James answered. "I get the point. All I wanted to say is that I'm sorry. I don't really understand why you're so mad but I know you are and I don't want you to be."

"Aw, how nice. You're sorry. You don't even know what you're apologising for, you said that yourself. You can't be sorry if you don't understand what you've done wrong."

"I know I've upset you and I'm sorry for that and I'm sorry that I don't understand. Explain it to me. Merlin, just talk to me for once instead of standing there and shouting at me."

"Why should I? It's my secret. _Secret_, do you understand that word? It means people like you aren't supposed to know, that I don't want you to know. You are the only one who has _ever_ found out. In all the times I've done this, all the guys Daisy has slept with, you are the only one to _ever_ find out. Why did it have to be you?"

"Would it have been any different if it was someone else?"

"_Yes_! I'd have been able to convince them to shut up. I wouldn't see them _every single day!_"

"Do you really hate me that much?"

"_Yes!_ Besides, it's not about hate, it's about my life."

"You aren't making sense."

"Daisy is not the same person as Lily Evans, Head Girl, but that doesn't mean that everyone won't say the things they say about Daisy about me. (Really confused. You'll have to explain to me what you mean.) No one will understand and everything I have worked so hard for and stood for will be gone. And it'll all be your fault!"

"What are you on about? Of course you are Daisy! You turn into her every time you want to have fun."

"No, I don't. Not like how you mean, it's not that simple."

"So tell me about it."

"Lily Evans isn't Daisy. Daisy is a different body, a different mind. She's a different person all together."

"So who's the real Lily Evans?"

I stared at him in shock. He'd just gone and hit the problem right on the nail. I don't know. Is it Daisy or me?

"You don't know, do you?" James asked tentatively.

"No, I don't. But I do know that you insulted me. I'm not some slut. Daisy may be but I'm not. As I said, completely different bodies. So don't go on about how you slept with Lily Evans, you didn't. You screwed Daisy…and if they are the same then you certainly aren't the first."

I turned and started climbing up the stairs.

"I'm sorry," James called up from the bottom.

Maybe he understands better than I thought.


	24. Chapter 23

Dear Diary,

I've started talking to James again. We don't talk much but then we never have, even in our good patches. He's very cautious around me now; it's almost funny. I think he thinks I'll curse him if he annoys me badly enough.

Vicki and Sirius are still screwing like bunnies. I'm not sure how he hasn't realised it's her yet but apparently he hasn't according to Remus. I don't know, I mean, even Sirius can't be that slow. Or maybe he can.

Remus and Eve, yes I mean Eve not Phoebe, are dating now. They are extremely sappy and cute. They're always holding hands, kissing and cuddling. I'd be jealous but I'm too happy for her, she's finally got what she wants. She and Vicki both have, although I think Vicki still needs one more thing.

I haven't seen Severus as much as I'd like recently. I'm so scared for him, stuck in the dungeons with no foreseeable way out. I have to face reality; he's going to be forced to join them. By peer pressure or from hatred, I don't know which. It's sad because he's a good person, a good man. Oh, I know others don't think so but they are wrong. They've never talked to him like I have, never cried on his shoulder or comforted him when he's upset. He's a good man but soon he will be turned into something cruel and harsh. Something other than himself. But he'll be my friend to the end; I know that in my heart. I'd trust him with my life.


	25. Chapter 24

Dear Diary,

James, the jerk, said something extremely smart today. He was arguing with Sirius in the common room about how he should stop messing around with girls while I was reading by the fire and he said that you always have a choice. I didn't really think about it at the time but when they went up to James' room later, best buds once again, I remembered it.

He's right. We always have a choice. Sure it's not always a good one but it is always there. I _chose_ to be Daisy, I _chose_ to get drunk and I _chose_ to sleep with him. Maybe not consciously but I still chose to do it. So I can choose not to.

I understand what James was trying to say now. True, it wasn't my body he slept with but it was my mind, I have to be me eventually, I can't always be Daisy and Lily. So, yes, James wasn't the first but he was the only one who actually meant something. I'm not in _love_ with him or anything but I do care about him. He wouldn't annoy me so much if I didn't. Deep down, _I_ wanted to know what it would be like to be with him. _That's _why I turned back into Lily.

Of course that isn't all my problems solved. I'm still left with all the reasons I became Daisy in the first place. I can't just suddenly stop being Daisy; it's not that simple. But I'm on my way to fixing this. One day I'll be free to be _me_.

With my new epiphany in mind I sought out James to apologise for everything I had done to him and all the things I had said to him. He was sitting in our common room reading a Quidditch magazine when I found him. He looked up when I entered and I suddenly felt nervous.

"Uh James?" I asked tentatively.

"Yes?" he answered cautiously.

"I…I just wanted to apologise for all the grief I've been giving you lately. I was just annoyed and worried and very, very pissed off at myself for sleeping with you and I took it all out on you. So…yeah, I'm sorry."

Throughout all of this James had been staring at me in complete and utter shock.

"OK?"

I laughed at this. "Exactly." I sat down next to him on the sofa and leaned towards him to see his magazine. He was still staring at me like I was insane so I smirked at him and stole the magazine.

"Hey!" he protested, leaning over me to take it back.

I leaned further back, "Hmm…how interesting, I didn't know that…ooo…got to get one of those."

"You are evil!"

"True, but…"

James launched himself over me to get to the magazine. Of course, this only caused him to end up pinning me to the sofa. Smirking up at him, I wriggled a bit, pretending that I was trying to get out from under him. He groaned and I smiled.

"Absolutely evil."

"I know but you love it."

He smiled at me. "So you noticed that, huh? So now I've confessed I think you should. You like the fact that I'm a Marauder."

"I really don't know what you're talking about," I countered, rolling both of us off the sofa and onto the floor.

He grinned, "Yes, that would explain why you're straddling me."

"Want me to stop?" I asked seductively, leaning down over him.

"Never," he whispered, pulling me down into a breathtaking kiss.


	26. Chapter 25

Dear Diary,

I now confess that I, Lily Evans, like James Potter. But that was the only time you will ever hear me say it. I don't even mean as a boyfriend, though he's great in that department too. I mean that I like his…personality. I laugh at his jokes, I talk to him without arguing, I flirt with him and I spend time with him when I don't have to. Yes, it's true; I have become friends with James Potter.

It does work out quite well actually. Now the Marauders, Vicki, Eva and I all hang out together. Eva gets to spend time with Remus, Vicki gets to spend time with Sirius and I get to spend time with Remus and James.

Now if only Severus and the Marauders could get along, my friendship troubles would be over. I don't see him as much as I'd like to but when I do see him it's a chance for both of us to relax. Vicki and Eva are great but I'll never have a friend like Severus Snape. He's been there with me in any way he could. I know that, no matter what, Sev will always be on my side. He'll always be there for me.

The year is progressing faster than ever - Christmas is long gone and Easter has passed. Soon it will be time to sit our NEWTs and then it'll be graduation. Then we'll be off, into the real world and away from the safe haven that Hogwarts has been. War is coming, it's inevitable and the fact must simply be accepted. People have started going missing and being found dead days later. Even the Muggles know that a war has begun, although they don't know the nature of it. We are up against something that none of us really know how to face. We are up against Death.


	27. Chapter 26

Dear Diary,

Today has been a very…eventful day. First of all I spent all of it with James. As Lily. See what I mean? Eventful. As I was saying, in the morning I dressed and went down to the common room to read a bit before going to breakfast. Engrossed in my book as I was, I didn't even notice that James came into the room. He sat down next to me and cleared his throat.

"Sirius wants to know if, now that you don't hate me anymore, you want to come hang out with me, Sirius, Faith, Remus and Eva. I'm sure Vicki could come too if she wanted," James offered tentatively.

She grinned without thinking and said, "She already is."

"What? But…I don't get it."

"Oops. Could you possibly just ignore what I just said?" I had smiled nervously while saying this.

"No," he replied.

"Damn," I muttered. "Vicki's going to kill me."

"Vicki will? Why? Merlin, all three of you did the transforming thing, didn't you? I mean it makes sense. I don't know how I didn't see it before."

"It's kind of like the Daisy thing or the Remus thing. Once you know, it's obvious."

"Don't tell Sirius."

"I don't see why not. He deserves to know that his girlfriend is actually one of his best _girl_ friends."

"It's his own fault. If he wasn't such a man-whore…"

"Sirius is not a man-whore…nah, he is."

I laughed. "Just don't tell."

We all headed for the Three Broomsticks for a butterbeer. Sitting there opposite Eva and Vicki (although Sirius didn't know it) and next to James was a lot of fun but hard work. We had to try to talk as though we hadn't been best friends for over six years and try not to start discussing stuff Faith wouldn't know.

The boys bantered with each other and joked about girls, pranks and Severus (to my dismay). I don't understand why they can't just get along with each other, I'm almost certain that if they just sat down and talked to each other they would actually find that they have a lot in common. Not the point, so, as I was sitting there talking to Eva and Vicki I heard Sirius say something that I knew would not bode well for anyone.

"So, what's up with you and Lily?" he oh-so-innocently asked, knowing it would provoke James.

"Nothing, we're just friends and co-workers."

"Yeah, sure. _Friends and co-workers_. Really man, are you ever going to get laid? I swear; it's been _months_. You're not turning gay on me now are you?"

"No! I'm not gay! Just because you sleep with someone different every couple of weeks doesn't mean everyone else has to. Merlin! At least I know who I'm sleeping with!" James was standing up and yelling. Wait, what did he just say? I know you're asking that, I was asking myself the same thing.

"What did you just say?" Sirius asked in a dangerously low voice. "I know who I'm sleeping with – Faith."

"Yeah? Really? And tell me, what do you actually _know_ about her? Other than what her underwear looks like that is."

The stood there, glaring at each other, until Vicki got up and ran to the bathroom. Eva stood up.

"I'll go," she said to me. "You sort out your _co-worker._"

Glaring at James, I roughly took his hand and pulled him out of the Three Broomsticks. He tugged at my arm a little but I held on resolutely as I led him to the woods near the Shrieking Shack. Once a tiny way in, I span round and pushed him up against a tree.

"What was that for?" he asked indignantly.

"What was the last thing I told you to do before we got out here?" I yelled.

"Not to tell Sirius," he muttered sheepishly.

"So what do you do? You make him question what he knows about Faith and upset one of _my_ best friends. And for no good reason! Now what do you have to say for yourself?"

"But he-" he started.

"James," I growled.

"Sorry."

"Exactly. Now when we get back you will apologise to Sirius and Vicki."

"You know…since we're out here…"

I growled and slammed him back against the tree, this time following him to kiss him.

Have I mentioned yet what a brilliant kisser James is? Really, he could win awards; someone needs to give him a medal. I mean Daisy has kissed enough people so I would know. That boy is the best kisser in the world.

Anyway, when we got back to Hogsmeade we found that Vicki had confessed all and Sirius gad reacted like a man and ran off. I sent James off to find him and me and Eva decided that the only possible way to cheer Vicki up was Sirius and that only chocolate would do as a replacement.

We spent a lot of money in Honeydukes and retired to my room to eat the chocolate. Deciding that the day had gone spectacularly awfully, we decided to give up men and just eat chocolate.

Finally, Vicki fell asleep and I went downstairs to see whether James had found Sirius. He had - in the arms of a big-chested blonde. Sighing, I went up to bed, dreading the coming morning.


	28. Chapter 27

Dear Diary,

This is it. The final Marauder will soon know our secret. Vicki asked me if she could tell Sirius about all of us and I had to say yes. I could see that without him she was miserable. She's hoping that it will help him accept her and that he will forgive her for deceiving him. I'll be glad to see her happy, just as long as Sirius doesn't go and tell the whole school. Everyone knows he likes to gossip and that he can be pretty harsh when it comes to revenge and it is really all my fault.

I suppose I'll just have to trust him, difficult as it may well prove to be. James has assured me time after time that it will all be fine but I'm not sure. I think he was just saying it to comfort me and stop me pacing.

Oh no! That's Sirius. I can hear him downstairs in the common room and he does not seem happy if the shouting is to be taken into account. Well, I suppose I should fix this, after all, I've got to face him some time.

I can't believe they would do that to me!

After everything I've done for them they had the cheek to pull that stunt! So, I crept downstairs and as soon as Sirius saw me he started yelling louder than ever, ranting about something although I couldn't decipher what. At a guess, my decision to give us all two personalities. So obviously I started apologising profusely and then I heard it, sniggering. Looking round I saw Vicki and James trying to hide their laughs behind their hands while watching from his stairs. I glared at them and then Sirius before returning to my room.

Honestly! They call themselves my friends!

Although I must admit, that was pretty good and I did deserve it. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm not mad at them, I'm just glad that they are together. Everything suddenly seems right in the world.


	29. Chapter 28

Dear Diary,

Hell has officially frozen over. I, Lily Evans, am going out on a date with James Potter.

Let me explain. Last night James, Sirius, Remus, Vicki, Eva and I all went out to that club I told you about, as us. It was a new experience but I was ready to test it out.

We got ready, difficult though it was with all our clothes being the wrong sizes, and met the boys at the entrance to the secret passageway out into Hogsmeade through Honeydukes. From there we went to the club.

I had thought that it would be difficult to relax and enjoy myself as Lily but it was surprisingly easy. I drank, danced with James and my friends and found myself having hilarious conversations with everyone in the group.

I got back to Hogwarts at around one, tipsy but not completely hammered as I had been on that fateful night before. I said goodnight to the others as we dropped them off at the portrait hole, kissed James goodnight in the common room and went to bed.

It wasn't until I was lying in bed that I realised something. I had had fun, not as Daisy or as Lily but as me, both personalities combined and I would never need to turn into Daisy again.

Anyway, this morning I got up, got rid of my hangover and then went to spend the day with my friends out by the Marauders' tree next to the Great Lake. James and me were the last to leave to go to lunch and I was shocked when he reached over, took my hand and kissed my palm.

"I know this might be a bad question to ask you but I haven't asked you in a while and I thought I'd give it a shot now," he has said once he was sure everyone else was out of earshot. "Do you want to go on a date with me sometime?"

"Wow, I don't think you've asked me that for a whole year. You kind of shocked me there." I thought for a moment. "You know what? I was wrong about you; you aren't a toerag after all. It would be my honour to go on a date with you."

He then beamed at me and gave me a huge kiss.

So that is how I ended up dating my worst enemy and letting him know all my secrets. Bet you didn't expect that to happen when I started this diary, me ending up with the person I was probably least likely to ever date - and me being pretty happy about it.


	30. Epilogue

Epilogue – This isn't in diary form due to scenes that cannot be viewed from Lily's perspective.

It was Graduation Day at last. The seventh year students had entered the Great Hall in a procession and, one by one, walked up onto the stage to shake hands with Professor Dumbledore and collect their diplomas. Their families stood in the crowd watching them, some angry, most ecstatic.

After the ceremony was over Vicki dragged Sirius over to meet her parents. In a feat of what must have been love the couple had stayed together for the rest of the year. Vicki was even considering moving into his flat with him. For Sirius, meeting the parents was the ultimate sign of commitment and while he was nervous he couldn't help but be happy. He only wished he could introduce Vicki to his parents without both of them being blasted into last week.

While Sirius met her parents, Eva went outside for a walk with Remus. He had told her that he had something very important to tell her. He took her out to by the Whomping Willow and sat her down to explain whatever it was he had to tell her.

"This is really hard for me to say Eva, I hope you realise that. I think it would be best if we didn't continue dating now that we're leaving school," he told the ground by her feet.

"But…why? I thought everything was going great," Eva answered trying to comprehend why the man she loved was breaking up with her.

"We were, we are. It's just that there are things you don't know about me and while they've never effected things at Hogwarts, they will in the real world."

" What _things_? I can't believe you would keep secrets from me!"

"Just don't freak, OK? I'm a werewolf. Stop. Calm down. Stop jumping up and down at me. When I was very small a werewolf named Fenir Greyback bit me. I never thought I wound get a chance to go to school but Dumbledore provided a safe place from me to transform and built a tunnel underneath this very willow to stop people from getting hurt. In the real world I won't have this sort of sanctuary. I'll have a cage. I might kill you or worse. I won't have any money because no one will hire me. People don't like werewolves and so they shun them and anyone connected to them and I don't want that for you. You have so much potential, don't waste it because of me."

"I can't believe you kept this from me!" Eva yelled, sobbing slightly. "You couldn't even trust me enough to tell me. What kind of relationship could we have without trust? Maybe this is for the best."

James and Lily were made valedictorians and as Head Girl and Boy had to make sure everyone was happy before going off to see their parents and make out - they were teenagers after all.

They talked, they mingled, and they faked patience. Lily introduced James to her parents but not Petunia as she had not deigned to some see the graduation of a 'freak'. James' parents adored Lily when they met her and immediately invited her round for a meal sometime. They had heard so much about her that they almost felt as though they knew her.

Finally getting rid of everyone else, James and Lily sat in a corner hugging and kissing. Then Sirius came over to talk to James and Lily left to go find a good friend she had yet to see.

Severus Snape had finally made his choice. He would escape his father and become more powerful than him by joining the Death Eaters. Now all he had to do before leaving is say goodbye to Lily for what would probably be the last time they would see each other as friends.

He bumped into her by the buffet table.

"Hey!" she cried. She then lowered her voice; "I was looking for you, meet me in the Trophy Room."

He nodded and they met there as planned.

"I was looking for you too. I wanted to say goodbye," he began.

"Me too. I know I probably won't see you for a while after tomorrow. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too," he sadly answered.

"Give me a hug," she said, leaning forward to embrace him.

They held each other tightly, as though they never wanted to let go. Finally, they did and Lily smiled at him, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Good luck in whatever you choose to do. You'll always be my friend."

He gave her a dry kiss on the cheek in an odd show of affection. "Goodbye Lily."


End file.
